So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
