I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
