theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
