sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You can't special order awesome
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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