Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
