I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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