I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
