It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm too high and old for this...
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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