Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize