I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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