I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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