He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
