The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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