I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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