god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
