she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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