I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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