Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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