I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
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