...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize