I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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