Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
