its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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