I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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