what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
