how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
There's always time for handjobs
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
