you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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