Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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