Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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