Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
