So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
