Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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