i barfeds in our rink
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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