Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
