New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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