Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
