i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
