Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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