Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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