Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
