Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I've blown a few things in my day
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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