you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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