every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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