She went from zero to smokin in five shots
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
