she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
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