Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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