Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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