It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
