My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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