forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
