so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
