they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
