fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
