I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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