We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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