Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
