I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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