D3 body, D1 cock
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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