I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
