The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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