I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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