it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
