I wish I only lived at night.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
