That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
