his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
