If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
